Interview with Koe Creation Works in Sex Positive is Sexual Educator, Activist LBTQ

Already has 20 years of experience in the work of non-violent communication and positive sex parenting. What which has acquired in experience? Through daily work is what results has managed to get the sense that the relationships are non-violent and sex-positive?

My experience with sex-positivity has been present my entire life. I grew up in a polyamorous, sex-positive family and greater polyamorous community of Seattle, Washington, USA. Polyamory and sex-positivity have shaped my thought processes, communication style and familial identity from the time I was a babe-in-arms. My parents wove non-violent communication into every interaction we had together, even when I would test their boundaries, as any child does.The ensured that I would be able to come to them with anything that I wanted to share. I have an amazingly open and strong relationship with them because of it and understanding how unique that connection is, gave the interest in helping other families and individuals develop their communication tools to create more safety and acceptance within their intimate relationships. My childhood gave me the foundation, but I work everyday to further my training and understanding of relationships, communication and desire.

What has been the biggest problem your clients have encountered and how you can solve the problems of couples and get them to have better sex?

An issue that I find prevalent for people I work with is that people aren’t truly comfortable with expressing what they want, to others or even themselves. Self awareness about your desires is necessary to be able to communicate them to your partner(s). Even when you are unaware of your desires and want to explore with someone, try new things and see how they make you feel; self awareness about how you react when you get triggered or overwhelmed is super valuable. Do you go non-verbal when something is really good? Do you need touch after being intimate? How much foreplay do you need before feeling open to sex? Knowing these things will help you be able to let your partner know exactly how to pleasure you and in turn, they can tell you what they want, need and desire!

You work also in the profession of Relationship Advocate & Performance Artist. How profession aid in the discovery of creating a better relationship?

When it comes to Relationship Advocacy; growing up in a polyamorous family naturally has made me an advocate for people curious about non-monogamy; polyamory is familial to me, first an my personal relationship structure, second. As a performance artist, I am naturally inclined to seek an audience and enjoy speaking in front of others. This has lead naturally to me leading workshops and publicly presenting as a part of my career.

You are LGBT activist. For you what are the most urgent struggles? Worldwide there are advances and retreats on LGBTQ rights, you see this process? As a sex educator, advocated by positive sex, what does it mean for you to get involved in the fight for the rights of LGBTQ persons? Give them other living conditions and struggle for acceptance and end of prejudices?

LGBTQ Activism has been as the core of my work since I was a teenager. When I came out at thirteen, I began looking for community and fortunately was in Seattle, Washington, USA, a city where there were a myriad of resources available to me. I began working multiple organization doing peer to peer education and started building what would eventually become my career path all before truly understanding what I wanted to do was sex education and how intrinsic my LGBTQ would be in such.

I think that the primary struggle for the LGBTQ community right now in the fight for equality is recognizing those that have been silenced and disempowered to make the image of LGBTQ people palatable to the heterosexual majority. The face of “Gay People” are white, affluent, monogamous people with able-bodies who are predominantly cisgendered. Transgender women of color are still at the highest risk of murder across the world and with a recorded death rate of 25 transgender people in the US in 2017, we all need to begin to look more closely at what is being propagated by both the media and interpersonally about LGBTQ people. We are here to be the cute, stereotypical gay comic relief in your romantic comedy for you to make money off of while people are being murdered with no media coverage or recourse for their murderers.

The BDSM already has had more space and greater acceptance, it is still a taboo subject. How can treat the BDSM and show that it is a perfectly acceptable and positive practice? What BDSM, Polyamory, his activism and all your work in offspring of positive gender, sexuality and education has been positive for your life and the lives of others?

The primary thing I make sure to teach in regards to BDSM is the consensual nature of it. BDSM is not abuse, nor is it something that makes you a deviant. BDSM is an avenue for self discovery, deep connection with other people and a greater understanding of how to quantify what do and do not want out of sensual and sexual experiences. Everything that people do to and with one another in the context of BDSM is well thought out, negotiated and is something both parties are extremely excited about!

In most dominant parts of society, there are narratives which tell us there is a correct way to do things. This kind of ideology creates a pyramid, everyone is trying to attain an ideal which is actually only sustainable and joyous for a small subsection of the population. In my work, I invite people to think instead about a rich and bountiful field; there are all different kinds of flora and fauna which are providing a balance of give and take to the environment. No one thing is dominating any other instead the strength and richness of the ecosystem is due to the variety of its components.

Think what would the world be like if we each were able to lean into the kinds of relationships which truly worked for each of us? It takes work; self knowledge and compassionate communication are a must; I also advise folks to not have attachments to static outcomes but instead hold a curiosity about what you can learn from each connection you have in your life and what it means to create and share love. How many different ways do you know to create love? I know hundreds, and  I am working on sharing each one of them with the world, through my family, my relationships and my work.

Thank you so much for your time!

Project For The Pleasure Genesis
Interview: Pedro Marques
Translation and Correction: Mário Martins

 

 

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