Interview to Bobbie Morgan, writer and supporter of sexuality and eroticism
Since you started the blog, what have you learned about sexuality and eroticism, the pleasure of giving and receiving, the exploration of the body and the relationships between couples?
Oh, so much! I started blogging because I enjoy sex and have a wonderful man in my life. We often joke if people knew how good the sex we share between us is that they’d never believe us. It’s a dynamic that the two of us share that is always growing and evolving.
But what I have learned is understanding that sex is not always a romantic thing between committed couples. It’s that way for me because that’s the way I’m wired, but there are many people who just enjoy sex outside of having a mental and or emotional connection. I understand and respect that a lot better now.
You have several articles about woman ejaculation and even discussed the topic in your radio broadcast. What led you to discuss this matter with experts and write about it?
It’s becuase we don’t know and understand what female ejaculation works and why it happens from physiologcial anatomical and biological standpoints. Medical and academic experts don’t know. I find that stunning, appalling and unacceptable. At this point, we may never know. Research, at least in the States, is driven and funded for problems that need to be fixed and resolved. Plus, there are a lot of people that convinced that female ejacultion doesn’t exist because it hasn’t happend to them or a partner. Personally, I want to understand why it happens for me – what causes it, what are the mechanics behind it, why it doesn’t happen all the time.
One of your writings is about the world day of masturbation. Why do you think this celebration is so relevant? And is masturbation a very important topic for you? How should man and woman deal with masturbation?
In the States, May is Masturbation Month. I think it’s a big deal because we need to open up that conversation between peers, our partners, and even with ourselves. We have to stop thinking of masturbation as something only lonely, desperate or undesireable people do because they don’t have or can’t find a partner. We have to stop mocking and ridiculing people who masturbate.
Masturbation is not yet very explored by women. What could you say to make more women explore this natural act?
Oh, but it is! More than you will know. Very few women talk openly about it peer-to-peer, because it’s not ladylike. It’s awkward and embarrassing, even for people just to hear someone talk about masturbation. The sex toy industry is a $15 billion a year industry worldwide. Compare that to bras, which are a $16 billion a year worldwide industry. Someone has to be masturbating in order to sell all those sex toys, right?
From the time we’re small children, we’re told not to masturbate, that it’s a bad thing to do. That kind of conditioning and thinking gets embedded into our minds as teens and then adults. If it’s told that masturbation is something that’s done in private, it usually implies that it’s shameful. We need to get the point across that intimacy, even when it’s masturbation, can be a private matter but not shameful. That’s the first and biggest hurdle that women, as well as men, need to get over.
I suspect a lot of women masturbate but don’t do it well because they don’t know or understand how their genitals work. Many women have never seen their genitals. I never looked at mine until I was 32. It took a lot of bravery to look at them.
Women need to understand that their bodies were designed to enjoy sex and masturbation. I like to tell people that masturbation works much better than drinking alcohol or taking medication to stave off stress, anxiety and depression.
“The Art of Groping”: you published this title so that the couple relationship can work better and both members can experience a better knowledge of their bodies. Is this a practice and an art that must be continually explored? What is its importance?
Sex is more than two interlocking body parts. Our entire body goes through unbelievable physical, mental, emotional and physiological transformations during sex. Plus, sex fulfills a need to be touched. A lot of people aren’t aware of it or don’t admit this because they think it implies a sense of being weak or needy. That can’t be further from the truth. Why not explore it often? It’s erotic and joyful. We need to stop thinking of sex as just a way to getting the best and biggest orgasm. My partner and I find that the journey of sex is just as fulfilling, sometimes even more fulfilling, than reaching the destination of orgasm.
When you began writing about eroticism and sexuality, you were a journalist whose work had nothing to do with these themes. What led you to take interest in such matters and learn more about them?
I was writing short story erotica for fun. I originally created my blog as a placeholder to keep my erotica accessible. Then I got this urge to start writing about it, just because writing as a journalist and blogger is something I do. I picked up and audience immediately. I was surprised. It didn’t take long for me to realize that there was a need for people to read and discuss sex openly, honestly, intelligently and maturely.
“Why Are There More Negative Than Positive Words Associated With Sex?” In this text you say that “sex is the greatest and most exciting thing that we can ever try emotionally, mentally and physically”. In what way do you think it will be possible to change people’s minds so they will face sexuality as you describe in your sentence? What reasons are there for people to be against the progress of sexuality?
Simply put, sex feels great! Ironically, in the English language most words we have to describe sex have negative connotations.
I don’t think people should be against the progress of sexuality. In the States, we have a sizeable sector of our population that’s socially, politically and religiously against sex as being something that’s outside a legally and religiously married husband and wife. The rules and mores we have about sex are based on stories and lessons that were created a couple thousand years ago when life was very different.
As a woman and a journalist, how did writing about sexuality and eroticism and learning from experts of the area changed yor life? How important is for you to teach other people and give them the chance to learn from those experts?
I often hear from people who tell me that they can relate to or have been inspired by articles I have written. Those are the greatest compliments that any writer can hear, and some of that motivates me to contiue what I do as a writer. I feel that I’m doing something good. And that has to account for the other 1,000 people or so a day that take time to read my blog that I never hear from.
I would like you to talk about the Go-Go Glider. How much pleasure can you get with it? This object, such as dildos, which you talk about in other article, are important to woman’s sexual life? What do you think about the use of these toys? You truly recommend them to women?
I haven’t used the Go-Go Glider. The couple that created it contacted me about doing a story about it and found their story fascinating. The idea of how their toy works is fascinating. I’m surprised that no one has thought about it before.
As far as sex toys go in general, I think everyone shoul have at least one, if not several for different purposes. They’re just plain fun whether you use by yourself or with a partner. Sex toys are not a replacement for a man, but if you don’t have a partner or your partner isn’t available, they’re just plain fun. Would any adult ever deny their children to play with toys? Sex toys are the same thing for adults.
In short, would you like to leave a message about the importance of sexuality and of learning about it? And the work you’ve been doing in your blog?
Simply put, the more we understand sex, the more we enjoy it and the better we understand, respect and appreciate our partners. One of my readers who is going through a divorce said that he found more results on Google for sexless marriage than unhappy marriage. Sex is that important when it comes to marriages and relationships. It’s not a frivolous thing.
I’m always looking for ways to reach out to much bigger audiences. We need to discuss and share information and ideas on sex the same way we do about things that are big parts of our lives like personal finance and raising children. We need to take the shame and scandal out of sex. It’s a part of our lives.
Let me know if you have any follow up questions.
A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind
Thanks for your time, votes for a good work.
Project Genesis by Pleasure
Interview: Pedro Marques
Translation and Correction and: Nuno Russo